We all have those moments, days, maybe even entire seasons in our life as mothers where we look back and think, “Wow. That was not me at my best.” Or other moments where we look back at the end of a day and think, “Who was that woman?!” There have definitely been times in this house where I have wished I could take back words that I said, punishments I handed out, fits I’ve thrown.
Over this past week, I have come to a beautiful realization. Although I have had many of those aforementioned moments, there must have also been some good stuff thrown in there too. It was as if my eyes had been opened to an incredible character trait that my kids have, that I have always taken for granted. I don’t even remember what the situation was now, but for some reason, I lost my cool. And when I say, ‘lost my cool’, I’d like you to read that as ‘looked to make sure the windows were closed because I didn’t want the neighbors to hear me before I screamed my crazy head off’. I can proudly say, that I don’t typically react this way. Unfortunately, I can also say that my kids have seen this version of crazy-mommy before. My boys just stood there and took the yelling and the punishment that was handed out without *much* argument and then went about their business. What I realized a very short while later, was that both my boys were over it. They didn’t hold a grudge. They didn’t sulk. They didn’t argue about the punishment they had been given even after I apologized for my outburst. They showed me grace. And the most amazing part was that they did it separately, without seeing the other one do it. It was grace given without fanfare, without expectations. Just grace. Then I thought back and realized that they always do that! They shame me, really. I am not always so quick to let things go.
My first reaction when I saw it was, “Where did they get that from?” And that was when it hit me. Yes, there have been those moments where my crazy-mommy alter ego takes over and freaks out. But by the Grace of God, those moments are few and far between. And in the in-between are moments where my boys see grace. They see grace in action between my husband and me. They see it in what we teach them about God. And they see it as we teach them to deal with family and friends. You see, I love the verse in Deuteronomy 6 that talks about how you should raise your kids. It reminds me that teaching my kids Godly character traits needs to happen daily, as a part of our every day existence. It says,
“These commandments I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up…”
God can use this perfectly imperfect mom to raise up perfectly imperfect young men. What’s even more amazing, God chooses to use this perfectly imperfect mom. I believe, wholeheartedly, that the reason my kids give me grace, is because they have been taught grace by their crazy mom. That is a beautiful thing to me.
wearethosemoms 